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Last night my parents and I got in an explosive argument that escalated to physical frustration. I felt disrespected and taken advantage of, they felt hurt and I deciphered it as being "anal". I yelled Fuck you! at my father, and he responded with angry impulsiveness. I tried to slap him on the arm in a piteous attempt at revenge and self-defense and froze on the mattress on the ground in dumbfounded realization that I had just made more mistakes then hours in a day. As usual. I recognized again that this anger that is embedded inside of me is unhealthy and terrifying. I never have dealt with it healthily... Time for some serious numbing action.